The Neighbours are at it again! ROLAND WHITE reviews last night's TV

Racy room service, a nervous bride… the Neighbours are at it again! ROLAND WHITE reviews last night’s TV

Neighbours

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Sex: A Bonker History 

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What’s the connection between Frank Sinatra, Status Quo and Ramsay Street in Melbourne? Answer: we wished them all a fond farewell and a happy retirement, only to discover they were merely going on a weekend mini-break.

Neighbours (Amazon Freevee) returned yesterday, just over a year after the so-called final episode ever, with tantalising hints of drama to come, and an audacious surprise at the end.

If you haven’t yet watched on Amazon’s free streaming channel, here’s a spoiler alert. The twist is worth waiting for, if only for its sheer cheek. Read on at your own risk.

Neighbours (Amazon Freevee) returned yesterday, just over a year after the so-called final episode ever

Jackie Woodburne (as Susan Kennedy) in the revival of Australian soap Neighbours, which has launched with a host of familiar faces

For our first glimpse of the new Byron Stone (Big Brother Australia star Xavier Molyneux replaces Joe Klocek), the camera actually lingered over his hotel name badge. He is pictured with Mischa Barton as Reece Sinclair.

If you haven’t yet watched Neighbours on Amazon’s free streaming channel, here’s a spoiler alert. The twist is worth waiting for, if only for its sheer cheek (pictured are Annie Jones as Jane Harris and Guy Pearce as Mike Young)

For new viewers, the show went to almost comic lengths to introduce the characters.

‘Can I have a bit more of my sister,’ said hotelier Paul Robinson, when Lucy Robinson made her first appearance, ‘and a little less of the head of Lassiters Worldwide.’

For our first glimpse of the new Byron Stone (Big Brother Australia star Xavier Molyneux replaces Joe Klocek), the camera actually lingered over his hotel name badge.

He was immediately plunged into a promising storyline. Asked to show a glamorous new guest called Reece to her room, Byron offered a very personal line in room service.

But what is Reece even doing in Erinsborough, which is hardly a tourist hotspot? And why was she so reluctant to take a phone call from her father?

There’s also a mysterious new family on Ramsay Street, the Varga-Murphys, whose son JJ seems unusually interested in the history of the area.

But the big storyline was the wedding. We knew definitely that Terese was the bride, but she was clearly having second thoughts. Paul didn’t seem too sure about the wedding either, because he kept staring into space, always a giveaway on soaps.

So it looked as if Paul and Terese, who have been married before, would be united again: right up to the moment that Toadie took his place beside the bride. Yes, the same Toadie who married Melanie in that famous final episode. It’s clearly been a busy time in Ramsay Street.

Never has a show been more aptly named than Sex: A Bonkers History (Sky History). 

Bonkers? It was completely doolally.

One moment presenter Amanda Holden was peeking through a keyhole to imagine Henry VIII enjoying an intimate moment. 

The next she was sitting in a bath dressed as Cleopatra, or tossing a javelin at Crystal Palace athletics stadium while dressed as a Spartan maiden (who were thought attractive if they could strangle a bull).

There were naughty jokes about cucumbers and carrots, and a version of Blind Date featuring randy Roman emperors. It was like watching a Carry On film produced by the Horrible Histories team.

Never has a show been more aptly named than Sex: A Bonkers History (Sky History). Bonkers? It was completely doolally

The next she was sitting in a bath dressed as Cleopatra, or tossing a javelin at Crystal Palace athletics stadium while dressed as a Spartan maiden (who were thought attractive if they could strangle a bull)

Gladiators were apparently the super-hunks of ancient Rome. ‘You’re talking about super-buffed, athletically elite, fighting semi-nude in a ring,’ said historian Kate Lister. ‘It’s all a bit woo-hoo-hoo’. That must be Latin for ‘phwoar!’

To find out whether gladiators might appeal to modern women, Amanda went to a gym to watch two well-sculpted, buff boxers belting each other. Was this a turn-on? Apparently not. Amanda’s pulse rate actually fell.

The big surprise, keeping in mind how much naked flesh you can see elsewhere on television, was that the show drew the line at actual, real-life intercourse.

A couple who were supposed to be demonstrating tantric sex were fully clothed. I don’t claim to be an expert, but I’m pretty sure that can’t be right.

Christopher Stevens is away.

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