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A therapist has shared four reasons why a situationship breakup may feel more painful than the end of long-term relationship.<\/p>\n
Stina Sanders shared her thoughts on TikTok, stating that there\u2019s a genuine psychological reason why the end of a short term fling can be so hard.<\/p>\n
The first is that your brain has to catch up with reality.<\/p>\n
She said: \u2018[Cognitive dissonance] is when your beliefs don\u2019t align with our actions and in turn this causes psychological discomfort.<\/p>\n
\u2018So in a short term relationship the dissonance is the initial optimism of \u201cyay this person could be the one\u201d to the reality of the quick-ending breakup.\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n
Essentially, your brain still believes that your feelings about your situationship being The One are real, which is why it\u2019s so uncomfortable to have to accept that you\u2019re wrong.\u00a0<\/p>\n
#stitch with @Guullikk this is why break-ups from a short term fling hurt way more rhan a long teem relationship! <\/p>\n
Next is the fact that shorter relationships are often much more intense than long-term relationships.<\/p>\n
Stina said: \u2018[This is] because we\u2019re still in the honeymoon period.<\/p>\n
\u2018Which is why when a short-term relationship ends we get left with this sense of unfinished business or feelings of \u201cwhat if?\u201d and curiosity of what might have been.\u2019<\/p>\n
On top of that, she said, when a short-term relationship ends, we often don\u2019t get the same closure as we would in a longer relationship.<\/p>\n
She added: \u2018Again, this leaves us with unanswered questions and a sense of ambiguity.\u2019 <\/p>\n
Finally, Stina noted, there\u2019s a societal pressure to treat short-term relationships and situationships as less serious than long-term relationships, but this isn\u2019t always the case.<\/p>\n
She said: \u2018This actually invalidates our real, strong feelings of pain and emotions about the relationship, which is probably why you have really intense feelings of loneliness.\u2019<\/p>\n
In her next video, Stina shared her three tips for getting over a heartbreak.<\/p>\n
They included going no contact \u2013 including no social media stalking and deleting old photos and videos of them off your phone.\u00a0<\/p>\n
This is because, Stina explained, \u2018visual reminders create dopamine surges which lead to feelings of craving and withdrawal,\u2019 prolonging the heartbreak.\u00a0<\/p>\n
How to use neuroscience to get over heartbreak \ud83d\udc94 #breakup #heartbreak #neuroscience <\/p>\n
She also suggests using \u2018replacement therapy\u2019 to get the dopamine and oxytocin you would have gotten from your ex from healthier places, including exercise, hobbies, friends or even dating apps.<\/p>\n
Finally, she suggests writing your ex a letter without actually sending it to them, and then write up your own version of their response.<\/p>\n
\u2018This might sound really weird, but actually replying to your letter as them is really cathartic and might even give you the closure that you need.\u2019<\/p>\n