But for conservatives in need of a feel-good story, the 10-year anniversary of Abbott\u2019s landslide 2013 election win was an opportunity to let their greying hair down and reminisce about better times.<\/p>\n
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Benke<\/span>Credit: <\/span>Joe Benke<\/cite><\/p>\n On Friday, a crowd of about 250 gathered to celebrate Abbott\u2019s ascension to The Lodge and ruminate on what could\u2019ve been.<\/p>\n The revellers included several relics of the Abbott government, such as former prime minister Scott Morrison<\/strong>, Abbott\u2019s treasurer Joe Hockey<\/strong>, current shadow treasurer Angus Taylor<\/strong>, and ex-Tasmanian senator Eric Abetz<\/strong>.<\/p>\n CBD remembers the Abbott years for its moments of absurdism \u2013 the threat to \u201cshirtfront\u201d Vladimir Putin<\/strong>, the politically ruinous decision to give Prince Philip a knighthood, the large, inexplicable bite into a raw onion.<\/p>\n On Friday night, Abbott attempted a nostalgic defence of his legacy but couldn\u2019t help launching a few attacks on the Indigenous Voice to parliament. He also called Peter Dutton<\/strong> Australia\u2019s next prime minister, telling the faithful that you could never count out an unpopular leader. He would know.<\/p>\n Dutton wasn\u2019t seated with Abbott on the big table though, with the prime spot going to Alan Jones<\/strong>. In a rambling speech, Jones repeatedly lamented the Abbott government\u2019s downfall as having come too soon.<\/p>\n Hockey, whose key contribution to Abbott\u2019s cabinet was the infamous \u201clifters and leaners\u201d budget of 2014, took a swipe at the Albanese government\u2019s closeness with Australia\u2019s least favourite business right now.<\/p>\n \u201cQantas wanted $4 billion from us, and we said no,\u201d Hockey said.<\/p>\n Abbott\u2019s chief-of-staff turned Sky News incendiary, Peta Credlin<\/strong>, roused the crowd: \u201cLike all good Liberal functions, no Welcome to Country!\u201d<\/p>\n For most performers, breaking a leg is merely a superstitious idiom.<\/p>\n But for former Split Enz frontman Tim Finn<\/strong>, it took on fresh resonance during a performance at St Kilda\u2019s Palais Theatre on Wednesday.<\/p>\n Watchers tell CBD that during the gig Finn was taking the audience through his lifetime of songs, when, during a quiet moment, a cry from the audience went up.<\/p>\n Finn echoed it for the crowd: \u201cSign my leg.\u201d<\/p>\n Finn, ever the gentleman and congenial performer, invited the fan up on stage, \u201cget up here,\u201d he said, with a dutiful roadie emerging to help.<\/p>\n But their help was not needed, for up came the leg, alone. It was a detached prosthetic leg.<\/p>\n Tim called for a pen, then inquired after the prosthetic owner\u2019s name \u2013 Jackie, as it turned out.<\/p>\n Gracefully, he wrote a longish message and the show went on.<\/p>\n We contacted Finn to ask if he\u2019d like to add anything, but he thought the story should, um, stand as is.<\/p>\n Break a leg indeed.<\/p>\n In the current climate, labelling the consultant class \u201cunconscionable\u201d is akin to handing out speeding tickets at Bathurst.<\/p>\n But that\u2019s exactly what talent acquisition firm Acquisitive Intelligence is alleging KPMG engaged in by failing to pay a $553,000 bill for recruitment services they provided the professional services giant.<\/p>\n Acquisitive Intelligence also say that KPMG breached their contract and consumer law.<\/p>\n Court documents filed by Acquisitive Intelligence earlier this month say KPMG had planned to implement a program called \u201cDeal Value Accelerator\u201d and required intelligence gathering to find personnel to work within the program.<\/p>\n \u201cThe defendant engaged in conduct\u2026characterised as unconscionable,\u201d the documents say.<\/p>\n Of all the consultant firms forced to air their dirty laundry in the Senate inquiry (we\u2019re looking at you, PwC and Deloitte), KPMG got off lightly.<\/p>\n KPMG says it intends to defend the claim. Acquisitive Intelligence, however, didn\u2019t return our calls, texts or email.<\/p>\n Former opposition leader Matthew Guy<\/strong> is learning the hard way that you don\u2019t want to draw the ire of the increasingly active portion of eccentric political activists in Melbourne.<\/p>\n Former Liberal leader Matthew Guy.<\/span>Credit: <\/span>Jason South<\/cite><\/p>\n Last December, David Vincent<\/strong> lost to Guy in Bulleen by a whopping 47.6 per cent.<\/p>\n Despite that, Vincent tried to petition to have the result overturned, claiming Guy was \u201cnot a fit and proper person to sit in parliament\u201d and that Guy\u2019s how-to-vote cards were \u201coffensive to certain tastes\u201d (whatever that means), asking the court to appoint Vincent to the job instead.<\/p>\n During the hearing in March, Vincent claimed Guy committed \u201cmalfeasance in public office\u201d and voters had acted \u201cunder duress\u201d in electing him.<\/p>\n Justice John Dixon unsurprisingly sided with Guy, calling Vincent\u2019s allegations \u201cscandalous, frivolous and vexatious\u201d, an \u201cexercise in vanity\u201d, an abuse of process, and \u201cscandalous and unsupported\u201d.<\/p>\n Guy spent $9,835.90 defending it all.<\/p>\n And now, he\u2019s suing Vincent to get the money back.<\/p>\n Who wins in all of this? Mostly the lawyers, it seems.<\/p>\n Property bro Tim Gurner<\/strong>\u2019s foot-in-mouth comments about \u201carrogant\u201d workers last week gave CBD no shortage of mirth. They also went viral worldwide, caused Gurner to go silent on the socials, and finally put out a grovelling statement apologising to the tradies of Australia for causing offence.<\/p>\n Happily, this won\u2019t be the last we hear from Gurner. The almost-billionaire and biohacker (he wants to live forever so he can sell more apartments) is front and centre at next month\u2019s Forbes Business Summit in Sydney, an event that uses the tagline, \u201cTap into the Minds of Icons\u201d.<\/p>\nSPLIT END<\/h3>\n
KPMG\u2019S INTELLIGENCE<\/h3>\n
THE WRONG GUY<\/h3>\n
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GURNER BEHAVE<\/h3>\n
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