{"id":141346,"date":"2023-09-06T12:11:05","date_gmt":"2023-09-06T12:11:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/?p=141346"},"modified":"2023-09-06T12:11:05","modified_gmt":"2023-09-06T12:11:05","slug":"why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/lifestyle\/why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script\/","title":{"rendered":"Why it&#039;s time to rip up your sexual script"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/GettyImages-1159631137.jpg\"><\/p>\n<p>2023 is the year to rip up your sexual script and abandon ideas about what is normal, according to Ruby Rare, author, sex educator and co-star of new Channel 4 show Sex Rated.<\/p>\n<p>Ruby has outlined her top tips to help people with their sexual debut on metro.co.uk\u2019s Smutdrop podcast, arguing that the phrase \u2018losing your virginity\u2019 is outdated because the experience is more about gain.<\/p>\n<p>She tells host Miranda Kane: \u2018I don\u2019t really like the idea of losing your virginity. Because \u2013 where does it go? What happened? It doesn\u2019t mean anything. To me, experiencing sexual pleasure and sexual intimacy is about gaining experience and knowledge.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>Her advice for people making their sexual debut is to go at your own pace and try to dismiss the idea of what may or may not be normal.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018The typical way that we see virginity is a man and a woman having sex, which involves a penis going into a vagina. For lots of people, that isn\u2019t the sex that is going to appeal to them, maybe because of sexuality, but also because of pleasure,\u2019 explains Ruby.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018We know that for the vast majority of women, penis and vagina sex isn\u2019t the most pleasurable because it actually doesn\u2019t stimulate the clitoris as much as loads of other wonderful, sexy things.\u2019<\/p>\n<p><iframe title=\"Spotify Embed: 77:  Preparing for your Sexual Debut with Ruby Rare\" style=\"border-radius: 12px\" width=\"100%\" height=\"152\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen allow=\"autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; fullscreen; picture-in-picture\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/episode\/2HMAWPbysL1vVSIfwcV9XG?utm_source=oembed\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Ruby argues that the emphasis on partnered sex devalues masturbation, adding: \u2018I first had sex with someone else, when I was 15, and for years, that was the moment I started having sex.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Actually, now when I look back on it, I had been exploring solo sex for years before then. And I\u2019d already had some sexual encounters with teenage girls. And I completely devalued those experiences, because the cultural script had told me that that wasn\u2019t what sex looked like.\u2019<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/wp-content\/themes\/metro-parent\/img\/fallback.png\"><\/p>\n<p>Ruby calls on those encountering sex for the first time to make sure they\u2019re clued up on issues like lube, \u2018an essential part of sex\u2019, condoms, STI testing and consent, advising a look at info from sexual health and wellbeing experts Brook.<\/p>\n<p>Alongside the term \u2018losing your virginity\u2019, the idea of what\u2019s \u2018normal\u2019 needs to be binned, she adds, as everyone is different.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Normal is not the same for everyone. And it\u2019s not about trying to fit into what other people\u2019s versions of normal are,\u2019 says Ruby. \u2018What you\u2019re doing and experiencing as long as it\u2019s not causing you pain, or other people pain \u2013 I want that to be okay.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>But above all, she advises that if you\u2019re having your first sexual encounter, it needs to be with someone you trust, respect and can have those awkward conversations with.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018It\u2019s less about \u2013 are you in love? Is this person someone who you\u2019re going to spend the rest of your life with?,\u2019 she explains. \u2018The 2023 version is, is this someone I respect? Is this someone who respects me? Is there mutual care there between us? And that can still exist in really casual sex.\u2019<\/p>\n<h2><i class=\"icon icon-exclaim\"><\/i>Smut Drop<\/h2>\n<p>Smut Drop is a weekly podcast with host Miranda Kane from Metro.co.uk, touching on sex, dating and relationships. <\/p>\n<p>With no holds barred, it\u2019s the home of sex positive chat, where Miranda will be joined each week by sexperts and special guests to explore the world of the erotic. <\/p>\n<p>And we want to hear from you, too! As part of our podcast we\u2019ll be sharing listeners\u2019 experiences, thoughts and questions on a different theme every week.<\/p>\n<p>So if you want to be involved in something brilliant \u2013 either anonymously or using your bold and beautiful name \u2013 drop us an email to\u00a0smutdrop@metro.co.uk\u00a0or slide into our DMs on Twitter\u00a0@smutdrop.<\/p>\n<p>With new episodes dropping every Wednesday, you can download Smut Drop from all your usual places.<\/p>\n<p>Ruby also tells Miranda that she would like sex education to focus more on pleasure, a word that is missed out when the subject is discussed at schools, and warns against following the \u2018sexual scripts\u2019 that we\u2019ve been given \u2013 arguing that sex does not need to look like anything that you\u2019ve seen or heard about before.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Provided things are consensual, and that you\u2019re checking in with each other, there\u2019s no rules for what happens or what order it happens in,\u2019 she says.<\/p>\n<p> And Ruby wants experimenters to understand that real life sex is nothing like porn; which is an entertainment form.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Porn is like Formula One racing. People who do it professionally, they really know what they\u2019re doing,\u2019 she explains. \u2018I struggle to parallel park still -but there\u2019s beauty in being able to just pootle around and go for a drive.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>Source: <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2023\/09\/06\/why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script-19455642\/?ico=mosaic_home\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Read Full Article<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>2023 is the year to rip up your sexual script and abandon ideas about what is normal, according to Ruby&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":141345,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why it&#039;s time to rip up your sexual script - The Projects World<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/lifestyle\/why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why it&#039;s time to rip up your sexual script - The Projects World\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"2023 is the year to rip up your sexual script and abandon ideas about what is normal, according to Ruby&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/lifestyle\/why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Projects World\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-09-06T12:11:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"mediabest\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:image\" content=\"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"mediabest\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/lifestyle\/why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/lifestyle\/why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script\/\",\"name\":\"Why it&#039;s time to rip up your sexual script - The Projects World\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2023-09-06T12:11:05+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-09-06T12:11:05+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/#\/schema\/person\/74db1979fe71b5ea01513ec1ce5bc609\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/lifestyle\/why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/lifestyle\/why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/lifestyle\/why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Lifestyle\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/category\/lifestyle\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":3,\"name\":\"Why it&#039;s time to rip up your sexual script\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/\",\"name\":\"The Projects World\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/#\/schema\/person\/74db1979fe71b5ea01513ec1ce5bc609\",\"name\":\"mediabest\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d7cef2e0d8d634cb49d54f7c48b549a1?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d7cef2e0d8d634cb49d54f7c48b549a1?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"mediabest\"}}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Why it&#039;s time to rip up your sexual script - The Projects World","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/lifestyle\/why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Why it&#039;s time to rip up your sexual script - The Projects World","og_description":"2023 is the year to rip up your sexual script and abandon ideas about what is normal, according to Ruby&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/lifestyle\/why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script\/","og_site_name":"The Projects World","article_published_time":"2023-09-06T12:11:05+00:00","author":"mediabest","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_image":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script.jpg","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"mediabest","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/lifestyle\/why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script\/","url":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/lifestyle\/why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script\/","name":"Why it&#039;s time to rip up your sexual script - The Projects World","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2023-09-06T12:11:05+00:00","dateModified":"2023-09-06T12:11:05+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/#\/schema\/person\/74db1979fe71b5ea01513ec1ce5bc609"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/lifestyle\/why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/lifestyle\/why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/lifestyle\/why-its-time-to-rip-up-your-sexual-script\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Lifestyle","item":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/category\/lifestyle\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Why it&#039;s time to rip up your sexual script"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/","name":"The Projects World","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/#\/schema\/person\/74db1979fe71b5ea01513ec1ce5bc609","name":"mediabest","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d7cef2e0d8d634cb49d54f7c48b549a1?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d7cef2e0d8d634cb49d54f7c48b549a1?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"mediabest"}}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/141346"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=141346"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/141346\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/141345"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=141346"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=141346"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theprojectsworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=141346"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}