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The decision was finally made when we were having lunch as a family one weekend in March.<\/p>\n
We were doing some simple numbers and maths questions with our four-year-old twins,\u00a0Leo and Cassian, and one of the boys kept answering for his twin brother.<\/p>\n
Even when we asked them a question each, the same one would always answer, never really giving his brother the opportunity to speak up.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s completely normal for one twin to be more dominant and for them to be competitive and this wasn\u2019t the first time we\u2019d seen this happen. But this moment reassured my husband and me that giving our four year olds space to be individuals at school was the right thing to do.<\/p>\n
So, at last, we made the difficult decision to put them in different classes when they start reception in September.<\/p>\n
Once the decision had been made we felt a huge sense of relief. As well as coping with our own conflicting feelings, we\u2019d also had many people asking us what \u2018our plan for the twins\u2019 was and it felt good to finally have a concrete answer.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Life as twin parents can be exhausting and frustrating. Someone always needs something, is asking us questions or wants a snack.<\/p>\n
But, while it can sometimes be overwhelming for us, it must also feel intense for the boys themselves. They spend almost all of their waking hours together and have shared a bedroom since the day they were born.<\/p>\n
While they don\u2019t often verbalise it, I think sometimes they really need some space and solo time, away from each other.<\/p>\n
Our boys are non-identical twins \u2013 so they\u2019re just brothers born on the same day, one minute apart. Like all siblings they have very different personalities, interests and strengths and school is going to be a great place for them to develop these without being compared to one another.<\/p>\n
But, while I know they will both benefit from the separation, I am worried about how they will cope being apart from 9am to 3pm, five days a week.<\/p>\n
We are a very close family, brought even closer by the Covid lockdowns. When they weren\u2019t able to go to nursery, it was just each other and their older brother, all of the time.<\/p>\n
Yes, they argue \u2013 but they also play together so sweetly, care about each other and make each other laugh. While they\u2019re not reliant on each other, they are so used to the other being there.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not sure how it will feel for them when they\u2019re not.<\/p>\n
Platform is the home of Metro.co.uk’s first-person and opinion pieces, devoted to giving a platform to underheard and underrepresented voices in the media. <\/strong><\/p>\n Find some of our best reads of the week below:<\/p>\n An anonymous writer shares what rules she sets out for taking back her cheating husband.<\/p>\n Writer Grant Roberts details the first worrying warning sign he noticed before his father’s steady decline with dementia.<\/p>\n It took a trip abroad for columnist JJ Anisi\u00f8bi to realise how screwed Britain is.<\/p>\n When Rowan Atkins started peeing blood, she was terrified \u2013 but doctors didn’t take her pain seriously.<\/p>\n The decision on two classes was made harder by the fact that when we asked them what they\u2019d prefer, one said he\u2019d like to be with his brother and the other said he didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n Of course, this was wholly predictable given they have opposing opinions on most things in life at the moment. But it was also quite a difficult conversation to have with them because, ultimately, we had already made the decision and were 99% sure they would be in separate classes.\u00a0<\/p>\n The question was posed in a wider conversation about starting school, what it would be like and who would be with them. We already knew the answer each twin would give and as we expected, the twin who said he wanted to be in the same class as his brother is the one who can\u2019t get a word in edgeways sometimes.<\/p>\n But, ultimately,\u00a0we feel he will benefit more from having his own space and friendships.<\/p>\n We\u2019re well aware that he might find starting school a little trickier at the beginning but we\u2019ll be there to support him and we\u2019ll also be asking their teachers to keep an eye on them.<\/p>\n And so\u00a0we\u2019d make the same decision again \u2013 even if they had both said they wanted to be together.<\/p>\n The \u2018together or separate\u2019 question was one we were asked a lot by friends and family members.<\/p>\n Almost everyone agreed that\u00a0\u2018separate\u2019\u00a0sounded like the right decision for us which was reassuring, even though of course it was purely a matter for us to decide.\u00a0<\/p>\n We spoke to other twin parents who had older children and also those making the same decision for September as us. Every family is different and must do what is right for them, but in most cases the twins were separated.<\/p>\n I hate it when people ask if we\u2019re \u2018splitting them up\u2019 though. It makes it sound like we\u2019re ending a relationship and forcing them apart. The reality is that we have their best interests at heart and want them to be happy and thrive.<\/p>\n Now, there is no doubt in our minds that this is the right decision for our boys.<\/p>\n The set-up at the school is very free-flowing, with indoor-outdoor play areas, which means they will still see each other during the school day.<\/p>\n One thing that has reassured us is that the school allows parents to give names of friends they\u2019d like their child to be in a class with, which means both boys will have familiar faces with them on their first day.<\/p>\n When we told the boys about their different classes and teachers they took it really well. They\u2019ve had a \u2018stay and play\u2019 session and know that their big brother will also be there keeping an eye on them, so it\u2019s an exciting time.<\/p>\n I feel reassured that there are other twin parents who will empathise with the situation and have the same concerns as us. And no doubt they\u2019ll also be panicking about the double WhatsApp groups and how to deal with playdates and parties when you\u2019ve got two children in the same year group.<\/p>\n It\u2019s going to be a rollercoaster!<\/p>\n