The three mistakes  that ruin your first impressions

The three mistakes that ruin your first impressions

April 18, 2023

The three huge mistakes that destroy your first impression in seconds – and how to make a great one every time

  • You shouldn’t cross your arms when hosting 
  • You should also not ‘sprawl’ on the couch

A body language has revealed the three things you shouldn’t do when meeting someone for the first time – especially if you are at home. 

From sprawling out on the couch to sitting on the edge of your seat – there are some very common mistakes people make when they have someone over for the first time.

Body language expert Adrianne Carter revealed the top three, after ‘at home date night’ searches soared on Google and TikTok.

She explained the most important thing is that you are always conscious of how your body language might make others feel.

‘We’ve all heard the saying ‘sharing is caring’. The key to getting this right is to be considerate and kind first to the other person, and then make yourself comfortable by following their lead,’ she said.

You should never cross your arms, legs or perch on the edge of your seat when trying to make a good first impression 

Never cross your arms and legs

Folding your arms can make you look closed off or defensive, she explained.

‘When you’re in a new relationship or you’ve just started dating someone, it’s important to keep your body language as positive as possible,’ she said/

In practice, this means keeping your arms and legs uncrossed – even if it’s a comfortable position to sit in.

‘You want to make it clear you’re happy to be there,’ she added.

It isn’t ideal to cross your legs or arms or ‘hog’ the couch when meeting someone in your home for the first time 

Don’t sprawl on the sofa

While it’s good to appear relaxed, especially on a date, sprawling out across the entire sofa might be ‘too much too soon’.

‘Yes, spread-eagling on the cushions is one of the most comfortable ways to sit, but you need to be respectful other people’s space,’ she said.


Would you feel uncomfortable if someone hogged their couch, crossed their arms or sat on the edge of their seat?

Would you feel uncomfortable if someone hogged their couch, crossed their arms or sat on the edge of their seat?

Now share your opinion

‘They might not feel as relaxed lounging next to you straight away and want to ease into it at their own pace. Let them choose a comfy spot first, before plonking yourself down on the sofa.’

Don’t perch on the edge of your seat

Even though sprawling on the sofa is a no-go, it’s important not to go too far in the other direction either, coming across as tense or nervous, she added.

‘So, while perching on the edge of your seat might seem like the most polite option (especially if you’re in their home), this type of body language makes it look like you want to make a quick getaway or you’re not staying for long,’ she said.

Allow yourself to sink into the cushions and feel more comfortable in your environment.

Adrianne’s tips were presented by DFS, UK-based furniture suppliers.  

Positive body language: 

For men: Lots of eye contact, sitting away from others so you have more space, blinking a lot. 

With women: Wiggling feet, crossing and uncrossing legs, touching face or neck. 

For both: Pupils dilate, ‘mirroring’ where your date’s glass goes, light touches on the arm.

Source: Louanne Ward 

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