Sex with my boyfriend left me so low I realised I only like girls

Sex with my boyfriend left me so low I realised I only like girls

April 25, 2021

DEAR DEIDRE: I REALLY loved my boyfriend but when we kissed it was like snogging a brick wall.

Sex wasn’t good or bad, just indifferent. I felt nothing, but for a long time still thought I was attracted to men.


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I’m a girl of 19. He is the same age. Often I’d switch off and become withdrawn during or after sex. Sometimes I’d even feel an immense low.

I thought because I wasn’t repulsed I could survive having sex with a man. But now I have realised I only like girls. I have told my boyfriend and he admitted he wasn’t surprised.

But it was very emotional and we’ve cried a lot. We are both devastated.

He says it’s the right thing for me to do and he’s proud I was able to tell him. I thought I’d be relieved but instead I feel heartbroken and sick.

DEIDRE SAYS: Our sexuality is rarely black and white but on a spectrum. All choices involve some sense of loss but you were right to be honest with your boyfriend.

Relationships do not always last, especially those started when you are young.

Don’t feel pressured to label yourself too quickly. My support pack Bisexual Issues will help you decide what is right for you.

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