No ring, no socials: Is a 'spouse launch' the way to announce your relationship?

No ring, no socials: Is a 'spouse launch' the way to announce your relationship?

March 19, 2023

From Em Rata’s spicy Valentine’s Day pic to Lizzo’s pre-Grammy’s couples snap, hard-launching has recently been the favoured way to announce your new relationship status.

It’s a no-holds-barred, obvious display of love. It says: ‘We’re together, and we want everyone to know about it.’

But what if you’re not so keen on such a public declaration of love?

Maybe you’ve been through the mill when it comes to romance, or you know the pain of being dumped, only to see your ex erase you from all of their socials.

Well, you have another option. Enter: the spouse launch.

Rather than introducing your new guy or gal on socials early doors, a ‘spouse launch’ is where neither of you post anything about each other online until you’re married.

Yep, only when you’ve got the rock on your finger will you go Instagram official.

Dating and relationship coach, Sarah Louise Ryan, tells that there are significant benefits to a spouse launch.

She says: ‘A couple are able to be present and fully enjoy the relationship privately, without social media opinion or pressure from others to “perform” with public displays of affection.

‘By not putting each other on social media there is a level of respect for the privacy of each other and the relationship itself.’

But it’s important to remember that this should be a mutual decision, made in unison with your new beau.

‘Problems will only occur if one partner wants to use social media PDAs and the other does not,’ Sarah warns, ‘it could create a disconnect between two.’

If you – or your partner – do want to share the love online, it’s worth taking a breath to ask yourselves why outward displays of connection are important to you. You could learn a lot about your partner or yourself.

‘Some people may do this to show others they are “off the market” and other people just genuinely want to show friends and family how happy they are with one another and the life they lead together, albeit through the lens of social media,’ Sarah notes.

Landing online with a wedding snap is a pretty cool move, and Sarah says it has the added bonus of relieving the pressures that some couples may face if navigating certain cultural differences.

‘I have many clients who feel the pressure from peers, parents and grandparents due to cultural and religious expectations and that weight is heavy for them to bear,’ she says.

‘It sometimes even distracts from the thoughts of what they want from their own life and the kind of person they are looking to meet.

‘Its a sensible move to stay off social media in these circumstances, so you can enjoy each other and the process with less added pressure.’

Anther added bonus? Repeatedly deleting pictures of failed relationships is tough, however far you ventured down the path of love.

‘I don’t think you need to be married to make clearing out your feed of your ex partners a hard task – its not the wedding vows that make that hard, its any relationship where you’d rather remove memories and time spent from your digital footprint,’ says Sarah.

So, would she recommend a spouse launch or not?

‘I think life is short and we all get to choose what we want to do with it,’ Sarah says.

‘I personally find that when couples are truly in love they do what they want in their relationship – they show up on social media or not – share what they want or not.

‘When just the two of them matter most, they prioritise each other and what other people think about them as a couple is none of their business.’

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