My husband and I have had sex just twice since getting marriedJune 4, 2021
DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE we got married a year ago, my husband and I have had sex just twice – including once on our wedding night.
I’m 33 and he’s 38. Before our wedding, we had a normal, healthy sex life. But since we became man and wife, he has barely touched me.
He comes up with every excuse in the book – he’s too tired, he feels sick, he has a headache, he’s worried about work.
There’s nothing wrong with him physically.
Even if he had a problem performing – which he doesn’t – that wouldn’t explain why he won’t hug me or kiss me.
He’s so cold. When we get into bed, he rolls over and turns his back on me.
It’s not just the lack of sex that’s upsetting me. He speaks to me like I’m rubbish.
He snaps at me all the time, but won’t say what’s wrong. He doesn’t want to spend any time with me either.
At weekends, he goes out to the DIY store or to meet his friends in the pub.
I’m baffled, hurt and angry. I wish I’d never married him and am wondering if I should cut my losses and get a divorce.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like he may regret getting married or might even be suffering from depression.
Whatever the reason, it is cruel of him to treat you so coldly. Choose a moment when things are quiet and tell him you must at least try to sort things out.
Tell him you are unhappy and that the dynamics of your relationship have changed.
Ask him what you can both do to improve your marriage. Make it clear that you want some intimacy.
If he is feeling down, suggest he goes to see his doctor. My support pack Looking After Your Relationship should help.
If things don’t improve, walking away might be the best option.
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