Mother's husband became her wife when he transitioned to become woman

Mother's husband became her wife when he transitioned to become woman

August 3, 2021

Mother whose transgender husband, 36, became her wife insists she’s ‘still the same person’ despite outward appearances

  • Tea-Lynn Van Dyk, 36, from Canada came out as trans to wife, Gabrielle Van Dyk
  • Their youngest daughter, Adelaide, 6, was open to having another mother 
  • Tea described physical changes as ‘wonderful’ and said given her mental clarity

A mother whose husband became her wife when he transitioned to become a woman has said she is ‘happier than ever’ but admits there were signs – including dressing up in her clothes.

Tea-Lynn Van Dyk, 36, from Ontario, Canada, first came out as trans to her wife, Gabrielle Van Dyk, 35, in December 2019, and their two daughters shortly after that, following what she called a ‘three-day panic attack’.

Their youngest daughter, Adelaide, 6, was immediately open to having another mother, and often corrected other members of their extended family who misgendered her.

Arya, 7, took around two weeks to accept the change, due her anxiety around Tea-Lynn leaving and being apart from her.

Gabrielle Van Dyk’s husband who became her wife when he transitioned to become a woman has said she is ‘happier than ever’ but admits there were signs – including dressing up in her clothes. Pictured: Tea-Lynn (pre-transition) and wife Gabrielle Van Dyke

Tea-Lynn Van Dyk, 36, first came out as trans to her wife, Gabrielle Van Dyk, 35, in December 2019, and their two daughters shortly after that, following what she called a ‘three-day panic attack’. Pictured: Gabrielle, Arya, Tea-Lynn (post transition), and Adelaide Van Dyk

Pictured: Tea Lynn and wife Gabrielle Van Dyk now

‘They know it’s a sensitive topic but we haven’t really talked about it too much since we first told them, life moves on,’ Tea-Lynn said. ‘Now I’m Mommy and Gabrielle is Mama.’

‘Adelaide was a super supporter from day zero. She’s the kind of person where, if someone was being transphobic to me out on the street she would be in their face.

‘And with Adelaide I just had to reassure her that I wasn’t going anywhere, and that I would always love her, and she’s been wonderful ever since.’

Gabrielle was very calm when Tea-Lynn first came out, and suggested she see a therapist to help her with her transition. Gabrielle says her attitude is part of the reason they are still together. 

Tea-Lynn started her hormonal transition in April 2020, following consultations with her doctor and speaking to a therapist about her feelings and experiences. Pictured: Tea-Lynn Van Dyk at pride pre-transition

Tea said when she first told Gabrielle she assumed she would be gone. Pictured: Tea Van Dyk post-transition

‘When I first told her I assumed she would be gone, I assumed we would get a divorce because it’s a lot for some people,’ explained Tea-Lynn. ‘I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

‘Now, I feel like I can love her to the full extent that I do, which is fiercely and wildly. I feel like finally there’s no barrier between us.’

But Gabrielle claims there were some telling signs that Tea-Lynn wanted to express herself differently, including when Tea-Lynn admitted she had been dressing up in Gabrielle’s clothes.

‘She had hinted that she was dressing up in some of my clothes, so it wasn’t completely out of nowhere, I had that in the back of my mind,’ said Gabrielle. ‘When she first told me I was like OK, let’s talk about this and see how is this going to work for us.

‘She still likes the same things, she laughs at the same type of humour, so in my mind she’s still the same person and it doesn’t matter that she’s dressing feminine or changing her name.

Tea-Lynn has also come out to her family and friends, who have been largely supportive. Pictured: Tea-Lynn pre-transition

The couple’s youngest daughter, Adelaide, 6, was immediately open to having another mother, and often corrected other members of their extended family who misgendered her. Pictured: Tea-Lynn, Gabrielle, Arya (CL) and Adelaide (CR)

Gabrielle was very calm when Tea-Lynn first came out, and suggested she see a therapist to help her with her transition. Pictured: Gabrielle and Tea Lynn Van Dyk

‘I think because that’s how I’m looking at the whole thing, that has allowed this to be successful.’

Tea-Lynn started her hormonal transition in April 2020, following consultations with her doctor and speaking to a therapist about her feelings and experiences.

She has also come out to her family and friends, who have been largely supportive.

‘I’m so blessed and lucky to have people in my life who recognise this transition is about me realising my own happiness, and they are happy for me,’ explained Tea-Lynn.

‘I have had to cut some family off who were not supportive, and I’ve lost a few friends, but on the whole my transition has been overwhelmingly full of love and support and I am extremely thankful.

‘I feel so much happier. The physical changes have been wonderful, but there’s also a kind of mental clarity.

Arya, 7, took around two weeks to accept the change, due her anxiety around Tea-Lynn leaving and being apart from her. Pictured, Arya, Tea-Lynn (pre-transition), Adelaide, and Gabrielle Van Dyke

‘Before I transitioned there was a mental fog of just confusion and sadness and depression, and being on these hormones have lifted that.

‘I have laughed to tears more in the last 16 months than I had in the 35 years I was on earth before I started. It’s amazing to finally really feel.’

‘I know everyone is curious about surgery, but for me it’s like if I were to walk up to a man on the street and ask if he was circumcised, it’s really none of my business.

‘Unless you’re a doctor or a sexual partner I don’t see why you would need to know what surgeries I’ve had or not had. Surgery doesn’t make a trans woman more valid, she’s already a woman.’

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