Husband told his pregnant wife 'to stop acting like a child'

Husband told his pregnant wife 'to stop acting like a child'

October 21, 2022

Husband with chronic pain and his pregnant wife are told they’re ‘not ready to be parents’ and are competing in the ‘suffering Olympics’ after an explosive row

  • A couple have been told they are not ready to be parents after taking to Reddit 
  • The husband said he called his pregnant wife a child when she made demands 
  • He said that he is in chronic pain and she hasn’t been helping around the house 

An expectant father who lives with chronic pain has been told he and his pregnant wife are ‘not ready’ to become parents after playing the ‘suffering Olympics’ over who is in the most discomfort. 

Taking to Reddit’s AITA forum, the anonymous father-to-be, 35, believed to be from the US, explained how he and his wife had an explosive argument following his difficult day at wotk – which led her to complain about him to her mother. 

Since his wife, 33, got pregnant, she quit her job, meaning he has taken on the majority of the housework and cooking. He revealed they had had a huge argument when she supposedly demanded a home-cooked meal when he came home from work – which led others to say they didn’t think the pair were cut out to be parents.  

Am expectant father has been told him and his wife are ‘not ready’ to become parents after an explosive argument, ended with him calling her child (stock image)  

He explained: ‘I (35m) and my wife (33f) are currently expecting our first child in December. 

‘I live in chronic pain due to a slew of health issues, I also work a job where I’m on my feet constantly. I can’t get a new job right now due to personal reasons, bur I plan to as soon as possible.

‘My wife quit her job right after we found out we were expecting (we always planned this).’

However he went on to say that ‘she’s gotten really lazy,’ and while he understands ‘pregnancy is hard,’ she won’t make food or clean the house.   

He said: ‘She’s been whining and complaining constantly since the moment she took the test. 

Taking to Reddit’s AITA forum, an anonymous husband admitted that he called his pregnant wife a child after her demands got too much for him

‘She sounds like a child. (I’m hungry, I’m sore, my head hurts, I’m sick, I can’t sh** etc).

‘I understood these things are normal during pregnancy so as much as it annoyed me, I bit my tongue.’

He continued to explain that every night when he returns from work, his wife would ask him to cook, clean or do something for her.

However, one evening it all came to a head and the poster explained: ‘I had just gotten home from a 10 hour shift, and was having a flare up. I just wanted to have a bath and relax because I was in so much pain.

‘I told her I’ve had a terrible day and to just doordash [take-away app] something. ( I rarely let her do this because those fees are ridiculous so I thought it’d be a treat) but she said that she can only eat home-cooked meals and that everything else makes her sick.’

He admitted that he may be in the wrong due to his response. 

‘I yelled at her and told her I’ve had the worst day and she needs to stop complaining and be an adult for once, she started crying. I immediately apologized over and over again but she left anyway.

‘A couple hours later my MIL called me and called me a misogynistic c*** and a slew of other names. I hung up because I don’t need that.

 

Thousands of people responded to the post, with many telling the husband that he and his wife were not in competition with each other over who has it worse 

‘Now the beans are spilled and all the women in our family are mad at me and my wife still won’t f****** speak to me.’

He asked the online forum if he was in the wrong on this occasion.   

Thousands of people responded to the post, with many people telling the husband that him and his wife weren’t ready to be parents if they couldn’t communicate or support one another. 

One person said: ‘So you’ve got chronic health issues and she’s pregnant. You need to come together and solve the problem as a team, the way you both agreed to do when you exchanged rings and said “I do.”

‘Do the responsible adult thing and employ open, honest, direct and respectful communication to figure out a way to get things done in a way that suits everyone’s needs.’ 

Someone else posted: ‘I lived with chronic pain and I’ve been pregnant. So I can compare. And it sounds like neither one of you want to actually be supportive. It’s more of a competition of who has it worse.’

A third person commented: ‘Let’s check in later to see who actually wins the suffering Olympics.’ 

A fourth said: ‘I wonder how they’re going to handle an actual child, especially OP. His wife is probably going to expect him to help out with the baby as soon as he comes home and if he reacts about the baby as he does with the cooking and cleaning….’

Many people compared the poster’s experience to their own and how they coped, with many concluding that if he and his wife couldn’t support each other then they were in no position to support a child. 

Many people compared the poster’s experience to their own and how they coped, with many concluding that if him and his wife couldn’t support each other then they were in no position to support a child

Someone said: ‘As someone who has fibromyalgia and is also pregnant with baby number two I can honestly say both suck. Pregnancy is draining and I’ve had hyperemesis both times which basically makes me immobile as the constant vomiting and food aversions make me weak. 

‘My fibro also kicks my a** when I have a flare up. That being said me and my husband split things as equally as we can and we pick up the slack when the other can’t.

‘E.g. My husband broke his ankle when our son was eight months old. Was I exhausted? Yes. Was I in pain? Yes, Did the baby still need feeding and the house work still need doing? 

‘Also yes, because you’re an adult and life doesn’t stop because you’re feeling tired or unwell. You’re both in for a rude awakening when your baby gets here and babies don’t give a s**** about your needs but your partner should.’

Someone else sympathised and said: ‘He’s in chronic pain but has no choice but to work a 10 hour shift and then come home to cook and clean. In those 10 hours she can’t pull up a chair do some dishes, throw pasta in a pot and throw comes clothes in a machine. Surely anyone in that state needs to see a doctor.’

A third person commented: ‘Neither wants to be supportive but one person is cooking, cleaning and working. Idk about you but that sounds pretty supportive to me.’

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