Here’s What To Do When Your Crush Likes Your Friend, Because It Isn’t Easy

Here’s What To Do When Your Crush Likes Your Friend, Because It Isn’t Easy

March 28, 2019

There’s really no feeling quite like having a good, old fashioned, butterflies-in-your-stomach crush. You know, the kind where you can’t help but smile when you hear their name; the kind where you’ve seriously considered sending them an accidentally on purpose text saying "Wrong number, sorry!" just to talk to them for a brief moment. But all those butterflies have the potential to go haywire if you find out that the object of your crush’s affection isn’t you, but rather, your BFF. Knowing what to do when your crush likes your friend isn’t something that’s really very fun to think about, but because it can kind of feel like the absolute worst, having a game plan is helpful.

The thing is, no matter what, this predicament is hard. "This is never an easy situation to deal with because it can cause hurt feelings," Trina Leckie, host of the breakup BOOST podcast, tells Elite Daily. "That said, in life, not everyone who you like is going to like you back. If your crush isn’t into you, they just aren’t into you, and you will have to accept that, regardless of who they have feelings for. Instead of being upset about this type of situation, it is better to focus your time and energy on meeting someone who likes you just as much."

Easier said than done, right? Feelings don’t go away that quickly, so, if you find out that your crush has a thing for one of your friends, do you tell your friend? You might worry that if you do, your friend and your crush will hook up and hit it off. A scary thought, I know. However, remember that, "This also doesn’t necessarily mean that your friend’s feelings will be reciprocal or that anything will happen between the two of them, if that is a concern," as Leckie says. "Plus, if your friend knows that you have a crush on this person, they may not even consider exploring anything with them, as a way of putting your friendship first and staying loyal to you."

Hopefully your friend is respectful of your friendship and feelings for your crush. But if you have a lingering fear that your friend also has feelings for your crush, what then? "If your friend really likes this person though and they have a chance at happiness, it would be applauded if you took the highroad and were supportive," Leckie explains. As much as the thought of that might make you want to crawl into fetal position at first, "I think it’s important to put yourself in your friend’s shoes when evaluating the situation," she continues.

"If you know that this person has a crush on your friend, you should probably leave that between the two of them and not intervene unless asked to," Leckie says. It’s not an easy situation, and you might feel sad or rejected by your crush, but at the end of the day, unfortunately, you can’t control how people feel. You can, however, control how you react, and if you react with grace, it will only prove what you should already know: that you are a total catch, and that anyone would be so lucky to date you. If this time around, it isn’t the crush that you have right now, worry not. Your next good, old fashioned, butterflies-in-your-stomach crush is right around the corner.

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