My husband spent $1000 on massages when he was meant to be getting baby essentials – am I unreasonable for being mad?

My husband spent $1000 on massages when he was meant to be getting baby essentials – am I unreasonable for being mad?

April 15, 2022

MONEY problems in a relationship often lead to fighting.

If partners have different beliefs regarding where they should allocate their funds, it makes budgeting very difficult.


One woman said she was furious when she discovered her husband was spending her hard-earned cash on spa treatments for himself.

Posting to Reddit, she explained that her husband lost his job in 2020—taking them from a two-income household to a single-income one.  

They moved out of their home and into a smaller apartment, sold many of their belongings, and gave up some of their “costly” habits.

“My husband has an expensive habit of going to the spa for a weekly massage session.

“A single session is $250, and he has to have it every week so that's nearly 1000 a month!”

The wife asked her husband to at least switch to a regular spa in which the massages would be cheaper, but he refused, arguing that the masseuse at this specific high-end spa is the best of the best.

“Problem is I'm the only income earner and I'm struggling to make ends meet.

“I'm also pregnant and need to save money to prepare a nursery.”

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She threatened her husband by saying she’d stop paying for the massages, but he told her he’d just get the money elsewhere.

“Yesterday I checked and saw that he's been using my credit card for his sessions for a whole month and had maxed it out completely.

“I found that out when I went shopping for baby essentials and the cashier said I had no money.”

The woman said she felt like an “idiot” returning all of the baby items back to their shelves, and she had words with her husband when she got back home.

“I demanded he pay back the $1000 he spent but he refused.

“I yelled at him and called him irresponsible, but he got upset and called me selfish and told me to stop playing victim.

“He said that this is affecting both of us since he's going to be a parent too and it's stressful for him, and said I keep dismissing his own needs as a human.”

The woman took her anger and went to a different room in the house, while the husband decided to forget his worries and go out.

Although the husband was clearly in the wrong, he began giving her the silent treatment as a punishment for yelling at him.

“He said I shouldn't expect [the money] back since we're married and my money is technically his, and I should stop using his unemployment against him.”

Reddit users unanimously took the woman’s side:

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“Immediately cut him off from all access to your money and credit. Don't give him any money at all. And seriously reconsider living with him since he steals from you,” one person wrote.

“He's stealing money from his unborn child so he can get off once a week,” added another.


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