I’m a plus size mum and I was fat shamed by an above average bloke on a dating app – I can’t believe his response | The SunDecember 10, 2022
A SIZE 18 singleton was stunned after being fat shamed by a bloke who declared they weren't compatible as he's 'a high value man' whereas she's 'fat with no self-discipline'.
Krista Brown was horrified when the self-professed shallow bloke blasted her size and said she 'lacked self-discipline and motivation' – after simply liking his photo on the Plenty of Fish dating app.
The bachelor, who described himself as 'above average in looks' said the 36-year-old should 'disqualify' herself from being compatible with him as men want 'looks, youth and inexperience'.
He suggested he might consider dating her if she was a virgin, but then continued to lambast her about her size.
After boasting about his DIY home-improvement prowess, in follow-up messages he cruelly branded the mum-of-two 'selfish' for approaching him and described her children as 'baggage'.
While urging her to drop her standards, the mean-spirited bloke went on to ask if she really thought 'obese women on SI swimsuit edition are hot'.
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After the budget support specialist messaged him agreeing she wasn't the girl for him for very different reasons, she finally blocked him.
Krista, from Mankato, Minnesota, said: "It was so ridiculous that it was comical.
"I'm on a couple of dating sites, you see a photo and swipe left or right if you're interested or not.
"I must have come across his photo at some point and thought he was kind of cute so I swiped right.
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"I didn't send him a message and he sent me a whole, huge, long paragraph asking why I think I'm worthy of dating him and what do I bring to the equation.
"He had a very condescending tone, he was so absolutely ridiculous.
"At first I was offended but as I read through it, the more ridiculous it got and I just started shaking my head and laughing.
"I can't even believe there are people out there who actually think like this.
"He asked why I thought we were compatible because he bought his own house at 20 and re-modelled it himself.
"He said I'm overweight, meaning I lack motivation. If I had read that part first, then I would have been more affected but there was a big long ridiculous paragraph[so] it was just comical.
"Something like that could be so damaging if someone actually took his words to heart.
"I struggle with my own mental health and had I not been in the right frame of mind when I read his messages, his words could have been very devastating.
"He must have had a really good photo but he has a really pathetic moustache.
"He talks big of himself. The bit that made me laugh was he said he's slender, has good hygiene and is cute so he's solidly above a five.
"He said I was selfish for even hitting him up and why would he want to shape and care for some other dude's kids and that I'm selfish for wasting his time."
The man wrote: "What makes you think we're compatible? I bought my own home at 20, completely re-modelled it since then, by myself, which doesn't mean trim and paint, means took out 20" of wall, rewired, re plumbed, insulated, sheetrock, new windows siding, roof, basically a new house.
"Yes, I'm shallow. No guys don't care about what women have accomplished in life, no men don't want a strong, independent, opinionated woman, men want to feel needed, they want looks, youth and inexperience.
"The fact I'm above average in looks (slender, decent shape, good hygiene and cute) puts me solidly above a five.
"No, not all women are tens, some have to be ones, twos, threes and fours should be enough for you to just disqualify yourself.
"I guess unless you're a virgin which is very unlikely even then pushing it, seeing as you are overweight, which tells me you lack self-discipline and motivation. No one wants to be big, chubby, fat.
"I know this seems like a mean message but it's not, it's just reality and seems mean because people are so detached from that thing, that thing called reality.
"Sorry, why do women hold such high standards for men (you hearting my profile along with the other women who do tells me that) I'm not just pulling sh** out of my a** yet don't allow men to have standards?"
Krista has been single for three years and had only just downloaded the app days before when she received the message out of the blue.
Krista responded by saying she clearly wasn't the girl for him anyway as he lacked tact and respect.
Krista wrote: "Ok, um, wow. Sounds like you've been put through the ringer with women or 'girls'.
"I'm all for honesty, but there's something called tact and respect that it sounds like you are severely lacking. I'm not the girl for you.
"Sorry, not sorry but if me being a 'strong, independent' woman offends you or makes you feel threatened in some way but that sounds like a you problem, not a me problem."
But the man didn't take the hint and continued to insult Krista by calling her selfish for even liking his photo, telling her to drop her standards and said he had no interest in looking after another man's children.
He also described women as 'delusional' and 'selfish' before Krista eventually blocked him.
He wrote: "Pain is a good motivator, you're either going to get yourself out of it or you're going to regress.
"I don't believe in depression, if you're depressed, it's because your life depresses you, medication just numbs the pain so you're ok with the b.s.
"You're selfish for even hitting me up, I don't have kids, you really think I want to come in and have responsibility in shaping and forming and caring for some other dude's kids?
"Relationships are not about happiness, it's about duty to family, people need to learn that, people keep sugar coating everything and everyone is living in a delusional world, you think over half the guys in the world think that obese women on SI swimsuit edition is hot?
"No, yet she got the cover even with her lack of motivation, lack of self discipline, lack of effort over all the gorgeous women who stayed in shape, ate healthy, like wtf is wrong with this world.
"Your actions have consequences. You're just triggered that I know my value, I know I'm a high value man and believe it or not, men are actually ok with being alone.
"Women are not, biologically, scientifically true. That's why one in three women are on anxiety and depression meds and the unhappiest they've ever been in recorded history.
"Women are so stuck in their delusions they don't even look at what's happening in the world and their selfishness is hurting kids.
"Look up statistics on single mother households vs single father households. Look up the difference in having a biological father in the house and 'my kids are different, they won't end up a statistic' said every single, single mother ever.
"Are you doing any research on the male role in a child's upbringing and trying to incorporate it yourself? No! Like stop talking, you have no idea.
"Drop your standards in looks, date a man who actually feels lucky to date you then you wouldn't have so much issues with past relationships.
"Plus, you think I want to deal with that baggage? Get over it, it's not the next guy's fault that the last guy you picked was a douchebag.
"I'm sure you got a dude friend-zoned that's an amazing dude and would love to date you but he doesn't fit in your d*ck metrics. Only problem is, you need to look for a father, not a f*ck, a dad not a d*ck.
"Quit being selfish and put your kids first."
Krista says she isn't letting the exchange put her off dating apps and she's still using them to look for love.
Krista said: "I hadn't been on the app for a while, I deleted it from my phone so I'd only been on it for a couple of days.
"I've still got the app, I haven't given up and I've had some nice conversations with some people who are interested in me and my life and don't belittle me before they even know me.
"If you're trying to get a woman, being rude and condescending isn't the way to go about it.
"You're driving away the woman who would otherwise be interested. If you send someone a message like this before you've even said 'hi', who would be interested in you?
"I recently got a tattoo that says 'I am enough' in my own handwriting.
"I have it on my forearm so that it's visible at all times when I'm not wearing a long sleeve shirt.
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"I know in my head that I am enough, I am important, I am worthy of love, but there is still a disconnect between my head and my heart.
"We are human too. We deserve love, compassion, support, and acceptance just like everyone else."
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