Billie Eilish Says No Boyfriend Has Ever Made Her ‘Feel Desired’June 6, 2020
Billie Eilish is getting brutally honest about her body image issues and the dark reason behind her signature look.
In a new interview with British GQ, the 18-year-old Grammy winner discussed why keeps oversized hoodies and baggy clothing in rotation, where her insecurities with fashion first started, and the profound effect it’s had on her love life through the years.
The young artist told the mag about being homeschooled through childhood, noting she would only shop at trendy shops and force herself to dress like the rich kids who went to regular school in order to try and feel “normal.” However, she says the uncomfortable phase was hard to manage and didn’t last, adding, “since then I’ve never felt comfortable looking like other people.”
While the decision to break away from the norm and find her own personal style felt empowering, it also spurred on some serious body image issues — especially in romantic relationships. She admitted:
“Here’s a bomb for you: I have never felt desired. My past boyfriends never made me feel desired. None of them. And it’s a big thing in my life that I feel I have never been physically desired by somebody.”
Wow. That is truly sad to hear. (Side note: how many boyfriends did she have time for while building an already impressive career at her age?!) The teen sensation continued:
“So I dress the way I dress as I don’t like to think of you guys – I mean anyone, everyone – judging it, or the size of it. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t wake up one day and decide to wear a tank top, which I have done before. Sometimes I dress like a boy. Sometimes I dress like a swaggy girl. And sometimes I feel trapped by this persona that I have created, because sometimes I think people view me not as a woman.”
Ugh. Screw whatever negative comments or perceptions anyone might have! It might be easier said than done when you’re living life in the public eye, but the way YOU view yourself should always matter most.
This interview comes on the heels of an amazing tour video she released in late May, where she stripped down several layers of clothing until she was only wearing a bra. Explaining the deeper meaning behind the powerful clip, she told the mag:
“That tour video was about all that. It is me saying: look, there is a body underneath these clothes and you don’t get to see it. Isn’t that a shame? But my body is mine and yours is yours. Our own bodies are kind of the only real things which are truly ours. I get to see it and get to show it when I want to.”
The nearly four-minute short film titled NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY brilliantly addresses the way the music industry has sexualized young women and it’s definitely worth the watch if you haven’t already checked it out!
The Bad Guy singer also offered some insight on whether or not she’s dating right now, admitting it used to be a huge priority for her before making it big:
“All I ever wanted was a boyfriend. Any time when it was rainy or cloudy, all I would wish is I was with some boy. That was my thing.”
But now, it’s become the furthest thing from her mind:
“It is so weird, but I don’t see it for myself. I know I will find someone eventually, but at the moment I can’t visualize it. I feel like I am a totally different person when I am with someone else. People just don’t do it for me. It’s weird.”
We hope whoever is lucky enough to call themselves her significant other someday appreciates every little beautiful thing about her, flaws and all, too! Before you go, ch-ch-check out her badass cover shot (below):
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"I went through a period of wanting to be like everybody else. But that went away pretty fast." On the imperative of graft and the embarrassment of plaudits; on body image and the conflict of desire; on pop, rap and pigeonholing; and on the terrible scrutiny of social media that took her to the brink of suicide: this is #BillieEilish, our July/August 2020 cover star. LINK IN BIO for the full interview with @jonathangq. Photography by @daniellelevitt Styling by @samanthaburkhartstylist // #GQ Editor @dylanjonesgq
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